Mekling (Mediation)

Definition

Mekling (family mediation) is a mandatory step in Norway for parents who separate and have children under 16. The aim is to help parents make workable agreements about parental responsibility, residence and contact—ideally without litigation.

What is required (and what you get)

• Mandatory minimum: Bufdir states you must attend one hour of mandatory mediation, and you may receive up to six additional hours of voluntary mediation (Bufdir: mediation information).
• Mediation is free. This includes mediation at family welfare offices and approved external mediators (Bufdir: costs and hours).
• Meklingsattest (certificate): you typically need a valid mediation certificate before bringing certain custody/contact disputes to court (Barnelova § 51: Lovdata: Barnelova).

Where and how to book

Bufdir provides practical guidance on which office you should contact depending on the child’s residence and your situation (Bufdir: booking rules). In many places, the family welfare office aims to offer a mediation appointment within a few weeks, but waiting time varies.

Legal framework

• Rules are anchored in Barnelova and regulation. The mediation regulation is published on Lovdata (Forskrift om mekling etter ekteskapsloven og barneloven).
• Guidance for mediators and practice: Bufdir has a detailed circular describing how the regulation should be applied (Bufdir: mediation circular).

Exemptions and “tvingende grunner”

The regulation includes rules on when a parent may be excused from attending due to compelling reasons (tvingende grunner) and later amendments have clarified exemption situations (see Lovdata amendment: Lovdata: amendment to mediation regulation (2019)). If safety, violence, or severe imbalance is relevant, ask the mediator about safe formats (separate sessions) and whether exemption rules apply in your situation.

How to prepare (so mediation works for you)

• Bring a concrete proposal. Weekdays/weekends, holidays, travel, handover times, and communication rules.
• Document constraints. Work schedules, distance, costs, child’s school needs, and special needs.
• Separate feelings from terms. Mediation is negotiation; write what you want in measurable terms.
• Build in review points. Short-term plan + a date to evaluate and adjust.

Do Better Norge perspective

Mediation can either prevent a destructive legal war—or become a pressure cooker where one parent “wins” by exhausting the other. Preparation is the difference. Bring a written plan, insist on clarity, and make sure the child’s relationship with both parents is treated as a right, not a privilege.

Official resources

• Bufdir: Mekling ved samlivsbrudd og foreldretvister
• Bufdir: mediation circular and guidance
• Lovdata: mediation regulation
• Lovdata: 2019 amendment (exemptions/compelling reasons)